First date can be nerve wrecking. So instead of freaking out, tackle it step by step.The first date is where the fun really begins, but even for the most confident amongst us, meeting someone for the first time can be nerve-wracking. Our first date survival guide is designed to help to put you at ease before and during your date, so you can rest assured it will be enjoyable, and perhaps the first of many more to come. This list is made in a way to cater both the sexes.I can hear you cringing already…
“Oh god, not another first date article. This is the 20th one I’ve read online this week.”
I’m right there with you. I’m tired of seeing generic first date tips such as “be positive, be yourself, and be nice to the wait staff.”
The advice may be correct but we’ve heard it a thousand times. And that alone doesn’t always ensure successful romantic connections. We need more. Without much ado, here are 10 advices for your first date.
1. Decide On The Location
First off, decide on the location. Nothing too extravagant, nothing too fancy; don’t try that cheap trick of impressing your date with your financial assets. Don’t just go for dinner or coffee because it’s “what people do”. In fact, those venues can be difficult for inexperienced men because it forces constant conversation in an interview style (sitting across from each other).
Do something you’ll actually enjoy and that helps the date go smoothly. Bonus points if it’s a shared commonality.
You should:
Pick something that creates a sense of fun or adventure. Anything that makes you laugh or generates positive emotions will alleviate nervous tension.
Examples: arcade, go-karts, dancing, comedy show
Pick somewhere atmospheric. A romantic setting helps set the right tone. It’s calming, intimate, and makes her feel special.
Examples: wine tasting event at night, walk on the beach, jazz lounge
Choose something where it’s easy to create physical contact. Activities in which you can move around and be close to one another facilitate natural touching.
Examples: karaoke, hiking, music shows, outdoor festivals
Choose somewhere you feel confident. For example, if you’re awesome at pool, play a few games with her. You’ll feel comfortable in your own element. You’ll demonstrate your value by showcasing your skill (and even teaching her something new.)
Examples: pool hall, bowling, science museum
Hitting one or two of these points will make things that much easier for you. You can get additional ideas from my article on how to plan a first date.. That would be highly embarrassing. Go someplace quiet. Movies are a complete no-no on your first date. How are you supposed to know each other while staying mum with eyes fixed on the screen? Remember not to go overboard to impress each other, try to be yourself. It’ll save you from disappointments later.
2. Groom Yourself Carefully
Dress appropriately, keeping in mind the place you are going. If you’ve decided on a fine dining experience, wear a smart suit with fancy shoes and neck-tie. Girls go for a descent dress with mild colour.With a hot date on the cards, you won’t want to be dealing with a last minute wardrobe malfunctions. Before picking an outfit, you need to bear in mind what kind of date you’re going on, as well as external factors such as the weather, location and time of day.While it’s essential to look the part, it’s equally as important to feel comfortable in what you’re wearing. The trick is to get the balance right. Choose an outfit that both looks and feels great and you’ll exude confidence throughout your date.If you’re not sure if it’s a look that works for you then ditch it and save it for another night when you can get an honest opinion from your friends. Trialling a new trend on a date could mean you spend half the night checking yourself out, trying to see if you look good, which isn’t the best signal to be sending out. If you struggle a little bit with fashion then guys have a look at some fashion tips and ladys check out some outfiit inspiration. You need to plan about your wear in advance, to get it cleaned, ironed and perfumed-ready on time. If you are headed for a junk food restaurant chain, keep it casual. Shower and shampoo properly. Boys, don’t forget to shave. Make sure you finger nails are clean and lips are un-chapped. Use cologne or perfume.
3. Gifts & Tokens
It’s not obligatory. But a small gift can be a good start and can be your date’s cherished memory of the first date. It’s really stupid to buy something very expensive when you don’t even know the person properly, so avoid doing that. Give something small, like a token of remembrance of the day. Girls, it is absolutely alright to give roses to your date. One simple rose is convenient rather than a bouquet. Be sure not to overdo anything, don’t be impulsive. Let things take its due course slowly. Believe me, you won’t regret it.There are different levels of personal space. As you get physically closer to someone, it feels more and more intimate for the both of you. When a woman accepts you being in her close, personal space, she will subconsciously feel more comfortable around you. That comfort then paves the way for attraction.
4. Mind Your Manners
Manners can make or break your date. Take it seriously. By manners,Lateness in itself is not a deal-breaker, as long as you call or text to let your date know when you’ll be there.One way to reduce the chance of a good date is to turn up flustered, grouchy and wracked with guilt. If you’re held up, apologise with dignity, deliver a winning smile and offer your date a drink. I don’t mean acting overtly masculine or feminine. Girls and boys, here’s what you have to do :–
Don’t be late.
Be respectful.
Chivalry was fun in the medieval period, there’s really no need to take chivalry too seriously today.
Sit properly, don’t slouch.
Eat properly, don’t guzzle and definitely don’t glut.
Make sure you use words like ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ appropriately.
Avoid using the word ‘like’ following every other word, it sounds ridiculous.
Don’t be a nuisance to the people at your neighbourhood tables.
Don’t begin complaining or whining about your life or family (remember he or she is still a stranger) as it gives you an image of a crybaby.
Don’t interrupt and babble your own opinion only. Let the person speak and represent her/his view in entirety.
Do not comment on your partner’s physical appearance unless it’s a compliment.
5. ELIMINATE PRE-DATE NERVES
In the hours before your first date, make sure you distract yourself and you’ll help to keep those pre-date jitters at bay. If a workout at the gym is your fail-safe stress reliever or a glowing tan is your ultimate confidence booster, you’re not alone; according to our LoveGeist research, Londoners are twice as likely to hit the gym ahead of their first date while daters in the North West are 95% more likely to go for a sunbed or apply fake tan! So, whether you chose to indulge in a hot bath and a book, a pre-date calorie burn at the gym or fake it with a spray tan, keeping yourself occupied will prevent you from overthinking possible dating scenarios, so that when it comes to the big date itself, you’ll be relaxed and ready to go have a good time.
6. Be Confident
Being confident is synonymous to knowing yourself – the things you are good at and the things you are not good at. A person can become confident by embracing her/his goodness and confronting the faults & work over them. Don’t be a looser, neither be too assertive. Be confident in your answers and suggestion. If you don’t approve of something, say it humbly but confidently. Avoid being arrogant or overconfident. Don’t even try to play the power game, ‘equality’ is the word of the century. A quote for Wikipedia perfectly explains it, ‘Confidence can be a self-fulfilling prophecy as those without it may fail or not try because they lack it and those with it may succeed because they have it rather than because of an innate ability.’Sit next to her at dinner or drinks rather than across the table. Whenever you’re sitting together (on a bench, on the ground, in a cab) position yourself so that your bodies are touching or nearly touching.The same goes for when you’re walking or standing in line: your arms and shoulders should graze one another. She should feel your physical presence throughout the entire date.
7. Mind Your Conversation
The primary purpose of the date is to know each other. Don’t expect your date to be exactly like you, respect her/his individuality. Don’t just focus on yourself or discuss only about yourself in a bid to stamp impression. Ask your date questions about herself or himself and listen to the replies. Avoid singing songs about your frustrated life; talk about movies, books and television series, try to find out identical interests and expand on that. Recount some funny incidents. Don’t seem too eager or desperate in your approach.The first date is all about enjoying the company of someone new and intriguing, so aim to avoid provoking political debates and stories about past relationships. Dating should be fun, so try to keep the conversation light and upbeat with stories and questions. If you still find yourself struggling then try having some pre-prepared ice breaker questions and read up on how to be an interesting date.Do this by getting her to show interest in you or return your flirtatious advances. This can be though spoken or non-spoken cues. But you need to lead it there by flirting first.
8. How Long Should You Date
Not too long, it’ll get uncomfortable. Have a good meal, don’t get yourself over-stuffed and when you feel you can just have a bit more, know that is the perfect time to leave. Don’t linger around unnecessarily, thinking something more might come out of it. Save something for the next time. It would be best to ride home together, be it in a public bus or your private car (provided that you guys were headed in the same direction). Then again, remember not to expect anything at the end of your journey.
9. Payment
Don’t follow boring convections. Girls, take note. If you want equal privileges, you’ll have to suffer equal loses too. Take initiative, suggest paying the whole bill yourself. But supposing you guys had a smashing time together and lost track of all the food you have gorged. In that case split the bill between yourselves. Plainly speaking – money rules the world. Surely, you don’t want to be indebted to your dates.
And boys, don’t get carried away by any over-chivalrous zeal. Equality is the foundation of a successful relationship. Don’t feel awkward or insulted if your date wants to pay or split the payment; she is not questioning your manhood. She simply wants to pay for the food she had eaten. And in case, she doesn’t make any offer – pay the bill, run as fast as you can out of the restaurant, stop taking her call, chunk her number to ‘reject list’, keep your distance and move on. History stands witness that women suffering from the trait of not paying their part are known to treat their husbands like unlimited-anytime-accessible-ATM cards.
10. What To Do At The End?
It depends on how was your date. Supposing it was great, you’d want to meet again so be honest about it, exchange numbers. But if you’ve had an awful time, well, then it’s up to the both of you. Would you like to meet again and see if it works out the second time. Or perhaps, it’ll be better to be completely honest (and humble) about the matter. Tell her/him that there’s really no point of going forward with this. Draw the line when you have to.If you’re keen for a second date with this person, tell them! However, if you’re shy, or would prefer to gage whether they’d like to see you again, perhaps you could hint by saying: “It’s been lovely meeting you, I really enjoyed it.”If you’re 100% sure you don’t want a second date, it’s important that you still try to end the date on a warm and positive note, while being truthful, to avoid hurt feelings. Honesty truly is the best policy; being honest creates transparency where trust can flourish and is something you can take forward into your next relationship
0 comments:
Post a Comment